Say what you mean

The way in which a person chooses to say things can also lead to people viewing them in a certain way. An example is my friend loves to joke around with other people, and say kind of mean things to people on my facebook wall. To me I know he is joking, but to the person he said it to, they think that he is a jerk and a scumbag. In this example just based off of something he said, he was automatically judged as a jerk. For me I am seen as a jerk also because I like to, "keep it one hunnit," with people and that then makes people see me as a jerk. I love having fun and saying funny things, and I am almost always laughing. To my friends they see this all the time in me, and that is why we are friends. Now, looking at other people if I'm not "feeling," you then I will probably be kind of cold and brief with you, which then labels me as a jerk.

People are always judging, and this judging leads to creating an identity for a person. If one person think you are a jerk, then that person tells their friends you are a jerk, you now have a group of people who think you are a jerk. Identity as I have said before consists of so many different components, such as the way you carry yourself, how you say things, the way you look, etc. The way in which I speak to my friends in New York city is very different than the way I speak to people on campus, or my professors. Also, if you heard how I speak to my friends you would get the impression of me being an informal person who is in touch with Ebonics/slang. The way in which my friends speak, would be judged as almost like they are uneducated, and just too into slang. A person then possibly might judge them as an uneducated hoodlum, which is the farthest thing from who they really are.

As a society we force many things upon identity, and make it to where we all should conform to the masses. Political correctness is a new thing in how every time people talk it has to be "politically correct," which should not be the case. My friend on campus, Robert, and I are very different people in almost all regards. An example of things is he talks extremely formal and always correctly, which makes me label him as very educated and super up-tight. After being around him for so long these things happen to be true. While, me on the other hand, I say things such as "What's good," and he doesn't know what that means at all. The only way I can get him to understand is by saying, "How are you doing," which then he is able to understand. In his mind he probably thinks I'm a weirdo or uneducated person, which he could then always label me as that when he sees me.

What I'm trying to get at is the way in which we say things, does in fact influence the way in which people perceive us, and view us as a person. It is a part of our identity, because it is who we truly are when we are fully comfortable. I am my true self when I talk to my friends in New York city because that is the way in which I like talking. You could say that I am putting on a mask at campus in the way that I speak, which could make people see me in a certain way. We need to just always be who we truly are, say exactly what we mean, and say it in the way that we are most comfortable.

Its all in the way you carry yourself

I had a discussion with a friend last night about the way in which we go about things. Both of us agreed in how we go through our typical day. The essence of the conversation was all about the idea of how you carry yourself. When I go through my day I am pretty much strictly business, I do have a group of friends that I chill with and joke around with, but otherwise I'm nothing but business. Now due to this mentality I then come off to people like Im a jerk, which in reality if you get to know me Im the farthest thing from a jerk. I feel that the way in which a person carries themself leads people to judge them, and this in turn determines what identity a person will have.

People will forever judge other people and this creates an identity for a person that they might not want, such as a nerd, a jock, emo, etc. Identity is made up of so many different parts that it is hard to pinpoint one key source of identity. One of these little parts is the way in which you carry yourself. I carry myself with what me and my friends call "swag," its just showing confidence in ourselves and knowing who we are dispite what anyone else might say. I have not always had this "swag," but once I found my confidence in myself, and my non-caring attitude about what others think I found my "swag."

Now the friend that I had the conversation with was telling about how he goes through his work day. He is only at his job at this time for the paycheck, and he goes in there with that mindset, which makes a lot of the people at the job not like him. He said that he is not someone who will suck up to someone and brown nose their way through life, which is exactly how I am. He sees what the people at his job do to make it in the good graces of the boss, and other head staff members, and he is is disgusted by this. Him and I are so much alike it is scary. If you carry yourself like a brown noser or a snake of a person, then you will be identified as a brown noser or a snake.

The problem that comes with the way in which you carry yourself is that it can be sometimes mistaken for other things. In my case, my "swag" can lead people to believe that I am a jerk, and this is not really the case. I feel that you must carry yourself the way you want to carry yourself, and always be true to who you are, despite what others may think of you. You have to find your "swag."